On Rediscovering My First Ever Movie Review

I was cleaning out one of my older email accounts and came across some pretty ancient correspondence. Much to my surprise, I found a seven year old email that contained my first ever movie review.

Which, of course, I had completely forgotten about.

I was working for SM Cinema, and during my stint in the marketing department, had worked with an advertising agency for a project. The company was given a free full page at a major publication and we had to come up with content for all that space. One of them was a weekly column called "Steve and Peps", which was supposed to be a movie review column that featured reviews by Steve, a consultant for our department, and myself. The original idea was just to use our name as an inside joke, with the ad agency providing the content. I decided to write for my part of the column. Steve never did.

In any case, I ended up writing no more than five articles as content for the page, until Steve decided to change the format of the page for what would not be the last time. I resigned soon after and entered the world of the call center industry and promptly forgot that short movie reviewer stint.

Which I didn't get paid for, much like I didn't get paid for more than two years of being the voice of the SM Dial-a-Movie hotline. I didn't mind not getting paid for the former, because I volunteered, but the latter was just dumped on me on my second day of work until the day I left. Then I found out that they started paying the people that came after me. I can only imagine the money I would have made, starting on the first day when they made me read "Now showing at SM Megamall, Cinema 11. Kapag Ang Palay Naging Bigas, May Bumayo. R-18. Press 11.".

But that's a different story.

When I finally unearthed the email from hundreds of old sent items and read the review I wrote for "Troy", I went through a series of emotions, thoughts and facial expressions.

My review kissed ass. No, you didn't read that wrong, nor did I type it wrong. It wasn't kick ass. It was a kiss ass review. I was working for a cinema chain. I wasn't about to write negatively about a movie that was going to be shown in our branches, regardless if we were already sure it would make money.
Now, to my defense in relation to my first point... I really did like the movie. I enjoyed it immensely. From the moment Achilles (Brad Pitt) sank his sword in that man's jugular, I was hooked.
In relation to my second point, that really wasn't the first moment that kept me riveted. It was the sight of Brad Pitt's ass. But watching a man get defeated quickly with a stab that severs a major artery is always cool. So, my second point is still relevant to why I liked the movie.
Boy, did I sound pretentious. But before you agree after you read the review, please remember... I was a first time writer of a movie review. I felt it had to sound... I don't know.... good.... I think. I don't really know what I was thinking then.
The Brad Pitt quote was real, or I wouldn't have written that. I think. Or maybe he was the pretentious one.
If you think the last line is cheesy, the contents were actually the movie's tag lines or catch phrases during promotions. So, exposing you to the cheesiness isn't entirely my fault.
The review reminded me that there were a lot of other things that I liked about the movie (aside from Brad Pitt's ass and that large man getting owned by Achilles in seconds). Loved the cast. Loved the storyline. Loved how they interpreted the Achilles heel mythology. And loved the horse. If you wanted a sleeker looking one, all I can tell you is... Really? Who would have the time to construct a damn giant horse thingy and make it look pretty during a war? Especially if you were pretending to be a fleeing army, leaving the horse offering for the gods who were angry that you had the gall to attack a blessed nation?
I noticed that the way I wrote back in 2004 was different. I don't know if it's the writing style, my vocabulary or the pretentious tone. Maybe it's all in my head. But it is different. To me, at least.
I would have liked a copy of it. Knowing the amount of work I did then, I'm sure I forgot to buy myself a copy of the newspaper it was in. But, I would have liked a copy. Even if it was just to laugh at today.

So, with much embarrassment, here is the first movie review I ever wrote:

image from impa awards

Helen of Sparta, renowned for her beauty, came to be Helen of Troy when Prince Paris deigned to steal her away from her husband. This subsequently caused a war between Troy and Greece, pitting the most skilled warriors against each other and led to the death of thousands on both sides. Their story is probably the most enduring tale in Greek mythology. Many have tried to adapt it for the big screen resulting in little to moderate success. But there would be little room for argument in saying that Director Wolfgang Peterson's version is not of the same mold.

Inspired by Homer's The Iliad, "Troy" is an adventure of epic proportions (to put it mildly), but ultimately became the canvas which the colorful characters, both Trojan and Greek, are painted on. The production sets are convincing enough, the stunt choreography mind-blowing to the point of artistry, and the special effects -- effectively utilized in creating the massive armies -- flawless. However, the movie plainly exists because of its characters. All the characters were multidimensional... nobody was purely good or purely evil (with the exception of Brian Cox's Argamemnon). Each had their own precepts they believed in and their own personal demons to contend with.

Brad Pitt was quoted in saying that all his experience in acting is mere preparation for the role of Achilles. His physical and emotional preparation was evident in every scene he appeared in, leaving no doubt that Achilles was the most feared warrior during his time, but was also simply human, as expressed in the myriad of emotions he goes through. Eric Bana simply shines through as Hector, the eldest Prince and leader of Troy's army, and would definitely be a favorite character for many.

"Troy" is an epic in itself not because of the war that ensued, but because of what had caused that war. What Achilles, Hector, Paris & Helen ultimately fought for. For Destiny, For Honor, For Passion, and -- most would definitely agree -- For Love.

:)

Labels: Film, Musings, Troy